Unemployment

As my babysitting contract comes to an end in July
i realised that i have been unemployed for more than a year
at least, i have secured this part time job for 7 months
but the reality is i have not being able to find a full time job
in my targeted 1 year

The truth is, there are often times i asked myself,
why do i give up a managerial post to applying for any random jobs now?
Is hard to admit that im not affected when i used to be a manager and now, 
im applying jobs from retail sales to admin asst
Yes, im even looking at being a salesgirl when im 31yo...
just short of being a cashier at supermarket or waitress 

it doesnt help that after a year, 
my french is no way near what i determine as fluent enough for work level
and sadly, i have not even receive a job interview for all the random jobs i applied
at times, i comfort myself that im overqualified,
at times, i blamed the need of being biligual in french 
at times, i blamed myself for starting a career in social service, which is country restricted
many times i wish that i can return to the past and chosen a different career path
at least i will have a higher chance to land in a job now
well, too bad we cant change the past and looking back,
i did enjoy my work experiences, being good at what i do and proud of my achievements

no matter what i do it seems to be hopeless
i cant make my brain learn french faster
i cant redesign my work experience
or why im an asian that people dont think English is my native language?

The idea that asians should be working in supermarkets and restuarants is so deeply rooted here
well, even my father in law asked why i dont try to work in the chinatown
after my education and work experience, i really cant accept the fact
to work as a cashier or waitress in chinatown
Maybe im too prideful or im not desperate enough

Considering that husband is earning enough to put food on the table,
a roof over our heads and for the 2 of us to spend,
i shouldnt be so hopeless right?
Well, i dont dare plan for a kid because we are worried that having a kid while unemployed
means i will be stuck (or happy) caring for the kid and not work for few years minimum
and lets not even talk about the financial constraints...

The future is bleak and i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel...