When loneliness strikes...

I always thought I can handle loneliness and isolation quite well
Life in france had taught me that sometimes in sg, i chose to be lonely and isolated
and times when i want to be surrounded,
there is always plentiful of friends, family, colleagues and even work to surround me.
On and off i have feel lonely.
The fact that i have no one to go to if i decide to runaway from home
or simply not having someone to have a drink with on a friday evening.
But often, these feelings of loneliness passed quickly.
And i seek comfort in whatsapping people in sg.

I guess i am to blame for not building up my social circle here.
I have been here for close to 2 years.
And I still only have a friend, who i knew through french class that i keep in contact with.
The rest will be husband's friends or family members
Maybe is the age or personality or expectations or our lifestyles,
i often wish that i can know people at a snap of my finger,
which never happened.
And my job, its not really a job to expand social circle,
unless you consider the 3 girls im babysitting as my friends.

Tonight at the usual babysitting,
my boss called me and she cant hear me
so she assumed her phone has a p^roblem and asked for my help to call the piano teacher
when i called the piano teacher, she cant hear me too
then i realised my phone is the one having the problem.
I called husband to verify whether my phone has a problem
and his phone was engaged / no reception that i cant get him
thats when the loneliness strikes me deeply
i realised i have no one else to call
just to check whether my phone is working

At the end, i called my friend (the only friend i have)
and she helped to confirmed that my phone is not working
although im glad had her to call
the scary loneliness that i had been denying of finally became a fact
I have no one to call 

On the way home,
i was so overwhelmed with emotions that i decided to whatsapp my sis and bff
then i remember i have no wifi so they will only received it when im home
and with the time difference, it will probably be hours later before they see it.
I guess i now have a very valid reason to add wifi to my mobile plan.

The good news is husband is suppose to buy me a phone for christmas,
but i guess i will get it tomorrow instead.
however, i guess france wins again

France 1 - Linn 0

Becoming 32..

So on the actual birthday,
We stayed home and husband prepared my fave meal..
Steamboat!
Which ended up to be next 3 meals of soup,
Yummy!

Husband went to buy me flowers and cakes too..
A birthday card from my in-laws,
And we just spent the day at home..
Received a surprise birthday song 
from husband's friends via whatsapp,
While husband wondered why they didnt asked us for that gathering, haha

Yesterrday we went for sis in law's house warming

Received a facial groupon from in-laws

And a hamper of goodies and food from the others.

After that, we went for a gathering at friend's place

And a surprise celebration for me and another friend!

Thank you for all the wishes.

From singapore and france...

I hope 1 year older = 1 year wiser?

32 and counting...

The eve before I became 32..

I was excited for my birthday weekend 
as husband planned for a surprise daytrip for my birthday eve!
Sadly, the terrible attacks on 13th november,
i felt like it seemed wrong to celebrate my birthday.
Since we will be going out at 0630, i made sure to text the key people in SG,
just in case people thought im hurt during the attacks.

Im glad that i did it especially when i have no internet on phone and was out the whole saturday.
When we arrived home, i had like 60 texts from sg asking whether im fine.
Thankfully, the key people update others that im fine
I was really surprised that the Singapore embassy called my sister to check my safety
I felt so loved by Singapore, hehe
Okay back to the surprise trip...

Husband decided to bring me to Fururoscope!
Which is located about 2 hours train from Paris..
Initially, i wanted to go to Asterix park, but is closed for winter.
I had the idea to go Futuroscope in the beginning of the year (I think)
but was shocked at the price of the train to go
Im surprised that husband remembered that i wanted to go
and it was great that the daytrip tickets train were much cheaper than normal

I will say that the park feels like a big science centre but with rides
Most of the attractions are educational and only in french.
Most of the rides are 3D/4D 
I think the newest addition is the Raving Rabbids

Lucky husband asked me to dress warm,

it was quite cold that day and most queues were outdoor.

We didnt expect the Friday's attacks and the park was quite empty.

Husband even bought the premium pass for us to skip queues on some rides,

which we didnt really need it except for 2nd round or before headding home.

1 of the employees was even shocked when we shown him the pass, haha

Apart from the rides, 
there were Imax movies about sea, space etcs
I think it will be good for kids above 8 years old to enjoy the rides and stuff..

In particular,
I think the outdoor area for kids was really good
It had a few rides that reminded me of rides in legoland
and playground for the kids to run around
okay, also big kids like us..

Im glad we went for a day trip instead of 2 days,
there are not much attractions and we were lucky that it was quite empty,
each ride can be like 20mins, i cant imagine the queues in spring and summer!
just that the park is big that sometimes it can take 10 mins to walk to another attraction.
Definitely not a place for tourists, with 2 hours of train, cost of train tickets and everything in french,
I think I was the only few asians in the park.

I experienced dining in the night once and was happy that we paid extra to experience voyage as a blind person.
Basically, we had a blind guide who bring as to a few dark room,
with sound, smell, touch, experience effects of a forest, city and up an ice mountain.
It was a wonderful expereience to try running on grass, sitting in a boat, careful of traffic in total darkness
we definitely become grateful of our sight.

We left the park at 1930 and arrived home near to 2300
because i persuaded the husband to stop halfway
to tabao KFC for supper
We were wondering why the streets are so quiet and realised at home that there was a safety notice to stay home
Opps, we definitely did the super wrong thing to spend the whole day out at a theme park,
taking train at major train station and walking on the streets at night,
but ignorance is bliss and we are safe and well.

We were very surprised that Disneyland was closed!
And husband was saying that he didnt even checked whether futuroscope was closed
before we depart... oh well

So, i received a great gift from husband..a polaroid!
I always wanted a polariod but felt is too expensive.
I guess i can go buy the film in when im back in Feb!

For anyone interested, this is the website:
http://en.futuroscope.com/

Thank you husband for the wonderful birthday surprise trip
I know Im not the easiest person to live with or best wife
But thank you for always being here for me..
Love you! 

fattening treats

I love sunday brunch!
I look forward preparing sinful sunday brunch
So 1 weekend, i had a pancakes craving and bought pancake mix
Husband dont really love pancakes
but with the canada maple syrup from my parents-in-law, he cant resist
I think a few weeks ago i tried to make pancakes from scratch
and definitely its much easier with pancake mix

Since there was pancake mix leftover
I managed to tried to make steam cake in the same week
Basically is adding egg, yogurt, sugar, baking powder into the pancake mix and steam it
Husband is not a fan of sponge cake
but i guess warm, soft steamcake is still passable for him

I kinda miss baking
but i think its not good to restart baking as our waistline is constantly expanding
haha

Hsg scan

Another big event for my holiday week
Is to go for the hsg xray
To check whether the uterus and fallipian tubes are fine.
At first, I thought it will be a normal xray                             
Till i was prescribed painkillers and antibiotics to be start 2 days before the xray
Then i start google and realised how scary it is
Similar to a pap smear,
But to insert a tube to the cervix and pump dye into me.
It definitely doesnt sound fun

Finally the day came
After reading 100000 stories about how painful it will be
Finally the day came.
As usual, the reigistration was fine 
And quickly it was my turn
To undress all except my bra and socks
My little cover of dignity
I was quite glad that the xray person was a lady
I think i was too stress that my french level became zero
But glad i googled the procedures to know whats going to happen

After a normal xray,
The lady told me i may feel discomfort
And at any time if too painful, I can ask them to stop
The male gynae came in and explained the procedures again
I must look really stressed that both of them took turn to ask how im feeling
It did felt like a normal pap smear
Without the scary chair and more discomfort
I guess they dont warm up the opener like my gynae did
Then was the painful insertion of the tube
Again doc say if too painful, I can ask them to stop
I can feel my stress level increase

The dye process was discomfort
Suppose to feel like a normal cramp
But added with stress, its actually quite painful
I will say its 3/5.

Then i was to turn my body
Which i totally forget how to turn
And the kind lady helped me to shift my body
I think the whole process took 5mins
But felt like eternity to me
Then doc left

The lady kindly brought me my underwear
And a pad and asked me to sit at toilet bowl for a while
Its nice that she still asked how i am while im sitting inside
Then i had another xray scan and its done!

I was feeling dull cramp and wobbly legs
After awhile, the doc showed me the xray
And said all was fine.
I got a shock at payment, its 180eur!
Well, at least is a good news.
I cant imagine paying so much
And going through all this
For some bad news...

Although its survivible, I really hope i need not go through this again!

Painful blood test

The weather suddenly became cold last week
that we seems to be in winter instead of sutumn
while I was dreading to go to work
I realised its the 2 weeks autumn school break!

Im definitely thankful to be off work for 2 weeks because:
- I am due to have my period this week after the medication
- I am to go for a blood test and scan during the week of my period
And as usual, the period came with crazy cramps that i hardly can move

 Since I needed to have a blood test for a long list of stuff on 2nd day of period,
I went to the lab this morning for the test.
Strangely, 1 of the item requires me to be seated for 20mins before the test,
I just sat there to wait for time to pass.
although the doctor warned me that I will be required to take quite alot of blood
nothing prepared me for whats going to happen

In Singapore,
I had unsuccessful blood test due to my fine veins
that i always need some experienced nurse to do it
and i think being an asian with fine veins is worse in France.

So first lady came to drew blood from my easiest spot on left arm
and she threw 8 tubes of blood from the same vein
I dont know is it my vein is fine or im lack of blood
she struggled towards the 7th tube
that she need to move the needle around for my blood to slowly drip into the tubes
a little pain but endurable.

Another lady came to take last tube of blood required for my blood type ID
thats when the nightmare begin
She tried to drew blood from my right arm
She didnt success in getting any blood
despite moving the needle in my arm (like im a dead meat)
initially i tried to endure the prickling pain
but it reached a point where my whole arm was tinkling so painful
that she had to stop

She decided to go back to my left arm
and try the top of my hand (near my wrist)
while she is being apologetic and mentioned my veins are fine
I tried to tell her that i know my veins are fine and its not her fault
She tried to move the needle around and still no blood

Frankly, I kinda reached my level of stress and endurance
that i asked her whether I can come back tomorrow for the test
Instead she asked her colleague to come and try
I dont know whether the colleague is more experienced
Since the first 2 ladies are in their 40s and she is in her 30s.
She decided to try near the very first hole.
And lucky for me, she succeeded.

I think I must look very miserable 
with plasters all over my arms and breaking out in cold sweat
that everyone came by to tell me that I am very brave
At least all is over for now...

First haircut in france!

I have been having white hair at a young age
Maybe because my dad grey young
Or maybe im thinking too much
Normally i will dye my hair once a month
To hide the growing grey
I dont know is the air/water/life in france
My grey increase and grew at a faster pace
I need to cover them like once in 2weeks

Thanks to the trend of grey dyed hair,
Lazy me to constant dye,
And my bad hair condition.
I decide to embrace my grey
And stop dye.

Is not easy enduring the temptation to dye
Especially when i look at the amount of grey on top ofmy head
So basically,
My top is grey and black
While side and bottom is brown
From previous dyes
I wish there is a faster way to go grey
And not multicolor hair

So to help my greying process
I cut my own shoulder length hair to below ear in august
While the cut relieve some frustration
I felt is not enough

2 days ago i started toying with hair cut again
And wonder should i go short to remove the brown.
Yes, i know the white will be more obvious,
But thats the point right?

The last time i had short hair was 4years ago
Compared to then,
My face is rounder and aged            
Im unsure whether i can be as chic as then
But i decided its time for a change
And went to a salon near home.

Strangely, its my first salon haircut in france!

I never dared to cut my hair here for fear:

- It will be expensive

- I cant communicate with stylist

- They dont know asian hair.

I choose to ignore all and be brave.

Im surprised to have a stylist

Even without appointment

Considering how everything seems to need appointment here

I was led to wash my hair

And i definitely miss the good shampooing by singapore's salons

I feel like saying i need some head and shoulder massage!

After 5mins, im led to my seat

No blow drying and im to state my style

And the same person who washed my hair

Was the one to cut my hair.                         

No xi tou mei here.                                     

I showed the photos of hairstyles            

And she recommend which she thinks is good for me                                                 

During the cut,                  

She will ask for my opinion

But no small talk or sell products

My french wont be good enough for talks

Haha

Its definitely nice to have a change

Although its still quite costly

I paid 40eur for wash and cut

But considering i only go back sg during cny

The price will be the same in sg

Husband took some time to get used

But thinks i look like a pretty boy

Haha.