Summer holidays part 3 - Stockholm/ helsinki

02/09/18
Since we are to catch an overnight cruise to helsinki at 1630, nothing was planned for the day except I had to repack the bags so that we can store 1 luggage at the port when we arrive helsinki because hotel was only available at 1600 and won't be funny carrying 2 luggage with us, baby in stroller and visit the city till 1600 (cruise will arrive at 1000). Anyway, I decided to take an overnight cruise because a cabin is much cheaper than hotel room (around 80€), husband never took a cruise and i think is easier to change city than a flight.  

So, the morning was the same routine and after bb first nap was feed and last min packing bags. Then we checked out of the hotel, left our luggage with them and went last minute shopping for souvenirs and lunch. Lunch was at this famous bakery cafe that husband found online.  Bb was not very cooperative but at least I got to taste the famous swedish princess cake and tabao some pastries for next day breakfast.

To ensure we will arrive at the out of no where port, I got the hotel to book us a taxi the day before so that we won't need to rush and be stuck in public transport with all our stuff. We are to check in port by 1600 and hotel staff told me the ride will be about 15 to 20m but being kiasu, I asked for a taxi with baby seat at 1500. Is very expensive to take taxi in Stockholm esp if hail from street because there is no standardised fare calculation and it based on the sticker on their window for the pricing. Although like most taxis in the world, they can transport bb with no car seat, we don't want risk the driver rejecting bb and prebooking taxi also means the price is fixed. I was quoted the price 19€ which is lower than my expected 30€.

We reached hotel by 1415 to feed bb and waited for taxi. We started to panic a little when there was no taxi at 1500. I asked the hotel staff for help and she advised me to check down the street because there was a big bus in front hotel so maybe taxi can't come. I went and check but no taxi. She helped us to call the taxi co and apparently the taxi did not come. I requested her to book a new taxi urgently. A new taxi came at 1515 and we are happy to hop on then the driver rejected us because there is bb. The hotel staff insisted that I didn't told her I had a bb when I think I did so back to square 1. The taxi co says it will take them 15 to 40m to send a taxi with baby seat down and another co says 2h! With no other choice, we asked for them to send another taxi.

While all this panics, booking, worry about missing ferry were happening, a taxi van parked outside the hotel. I asked the staff whether it was for us and she said no. At about 1530, the driver of the van taxi came in and the hotel staff says I can take the van but will be more expensive. With us at the losing end, we had no choice and hop on the taxi. Thankfully, it costs us only 24€. We arrived the port at 1550, luckily the check in was fast and easy and we got on board at 1615. Phew... never expect the taxi to fail to turn up and crazily my parents in laws had a similar taxi incident and they ended up driving themselves to the airport.

Unlike the usual cruise that I did with my family, there is nothing much on board and meals are not included. But because husband requested for a good meal from his parents as birthday gift, we had the buffet on board. Food was not bad but long queues and a sleepy bb did not made it fun. At least we get to slowly finishthe buffet w me ergo bb and we realised buffet is better with bb in ergo because need move to get Food and that helps! We went a few times outside to look at the sea but it was a little too windy for bb and all are us seasick. Oops.

Sleep was easier for bb because our cabin was sort of above the engine and it keeps vibrating.. bb did screamed as usual in middle of night but was easier to sooth her..I think she sort of got used to the idea of co sleeping in diff places...the single bed was small to share w bb, I woke up more than her.

03/09/18
Bb woke up at 0520 and I was getting upset because husband was behaving like it's time for bb to wake up. Then realised we are in helsinki time so it's already 0620, which is the normal wake up time for bb. So, feed and changed bb, went on deck to have our tabao-ed breakfast and had her first nap in the cabin. Since I separated the luggage, there was not much packing to be done. The cruise arrived helsinki at 1010 and we easily found the luggage storage lockers at the port terminal (4€ per day). Since there were seats, so decided to feed bb before we start exploring helsinki.

Helsinki is less pretty and smaller than Stockholm. To me, it has this old Russian charm..but not very charming. Our first stop was the seaport market where there was food stalls and souvenir shops. Even with only 1 big backpack luggage, it was still not easy getting lunch and moving around. We had expensive fish soup and fried seafood platter beside the sea. Since Finland was supposed to be famous for cloudberry, we saw a jam stall beside us selling the various berries jam. The owner kept letting us taste so much that I feel bad not buying. We ended up buying a small jar of cloudberry at 8€ and I stopped husband from buying more.  A few stalls down were fruits stalls and they were selling cloudberry jam at 4€!
We feel so cheated especially when we try negotiate the price to buy more and the fruit stall owner commented that in front there is a stall selling the same at 8€...Oh well.

The city centre was full of shopping centres that I thought I'm in Singapore. It's so rare to see cluster of shopping centre malls on Europe. In uk, I think the moomin stuff looks super cute but expensive. We saw more in Stockholm and after Google realised is from Finland! So we went to the moomin store but still, everything is so expensive. Husband got bb a moomin pyjamas and I got her a moomin bowl to start her solids when we return. After shopping, we park ourselves at a nearby cafe for the needed rest and bb feed.

It was finally closer to 1600. We went to a nearby supermarket to get stuff and made our way to the hotel. This  hotel is cheaper because there is no reception. Basically, they send you a code that let you access the building, lift and hotel room. I think is crazy that with a baby at 0 years old, we paid more for all our hotels but at least all rooms came w 3rd bed so husband has the honour to sleep in the single bed while I co sleep with baby.

New hotel room + lack of nap = fussy baby. Bedtime was a nightmare because baby finally took a nap very close to her bedtime and refused to wake up. It was too early to let her sleep for the night so I woke her up to change pyjamas etcs. It took lots of struggles and screams for bedtime that I was so exhausted after she is in bed that I asked husband to grab anything for dinner.

After dinner, we rested soon but night was again tough with a baby who kept waking up screaming... sigh... remind me again who says holidays is fun?

Summer holidays part 2 - stockholm

**Not much photos for the trip because 1 night my phone auto reboot and i lost the photos**

30/08/18
Everything is expensive in Stockholm especially hotels! I managed to get a good deal of staying in a hotel-apartment with a small kitchenette for about 170€ per night with breakfast included. With a bb waking up early and great breakfast menu, we are fine to walk 5mins to the hotel for the breakfast (luckily breakfast starts at 0630). Normally bb wake up drinks milk and we are out for breakfast. Hardly 30m into breakfast, bb starts to fuss for nap.. well, at least good motivation to be out early each day  and back to room for bb first nap. Because of the likelihood of being out the whole day and seeing how badly bb sleeps at night, we make it a point to only start our day proper after her first nap. Just nice to go toilet after breakfast in room or catch a rest as well. I think this was the wisest choice of the trip. 

Following the sleepless night, the plan was just to explore the old town (Gamla stan). Thankfully our apt was in the city centre, takes us like 5minutes to the shopping area and 10min to the old town. Stockholm's streets are really stroller friendly but we forgot we are visiting old town (old = old rocky streets). After pushing stroller on the rocky street, we decided to ergo and it's definitely much easier to explore. 

I think the lack of sleep makes me grumpy as usual so I don't share husband's enthusiasm as usual. Haha.

After lunch and more exploring, it was coming to the end of afternoon. We decided to go supermarket shopping for dinner and return to apt. At least we saved money and used the apt kitchenette.  Bedtime was a struggle again and bb loved screaming like she is being butchered.  We had to take turns to eat in silence and dim lights when normally at least at home we eat in a separate room. All the sleep training flew away (We rocked, walked, co sleep) for the trip so that our poor next door "neighbours" won't kill us. Oh I don't enjoy co sleeping with bb, I need to sleep without moving…

31/08/18
Forgot the number of times bb woke up through the night. I remembered that I need hold her hand to sleep, husband helped soothed the screaming bb in middle of the night. Well, at least sleep was better than the first night, she slept on the bed with us and not in my arms. So as usual, we did bb wake up- feed- change bb- go breakfast- fussy bb- leave breakfast- return room. The only crazy thing is bb actually fell asleep in stroller and did a long nap in a stretch! She has been a bad napper for so long (wakes up after 30m and need resettle her to do a complete nap of min 1hr = 1 nap becomes 2 naps and becomes each day I need do 5 naps instead of the 3 naps).  We silently did our happy dance but left her to sleep in her stroller and checking always she is breathing. 

It was a rainy day but the plan was to go skansen, an outdoor museum/zoo. I managed to download an app to buy the transport ticket (4.50€ per adult for a 75min ticket!) And we arrived less than 30min later on tram. It's cool that they have designated tram carriages for wheelchair and stroller. I accidently got husband to push stroller in the non designated carrier but at least no one gave us the usual-french-dirty-stares. Generally people are nicer esp towards families with kids, like how ppl offered to help us carry stroller when we visited places. 

I will say skansen is probably the most interesting and nicest thing that we did for the trip. Apart from the expensive entrance fee (19€/ adult), it was a nice experience to visit the outdoor zoo, old houses (with actors pretending they are living there and explaining their lives) and the outdoor walk. The only bad thing was we forgot to prepare for lunch and had to eat expensive not nice burgers there for lunch (is like being stuck in a theme park, no choice!). 

The park was stroller friendly but at times we chose to ergo so that baby can see the animals, which she totally has no interest in. Haha. The rain was manageable just a little too cool so bb was wrapped up like a bun. We spent about 4hours and decided it was time to go. Pushing stroller up slopes, walking under the rain and caring for a baby makes us tired.

We went for a bit of window shopping and ended the afternoon with early dinner (1700ish?) at a Japanese restaurant near apt. Baby was fussy but we still managed to finish the meal properly.  Finally, bb seems to be getting used to the room

01/09/18
The plan was to go for a diy subway station tour since Stockholm is known for their beautiful subway stations. The expensive transport ticket last 75m so plan is to complete many stations and hop on and off the metros within 75m. It was actually quite fun going out and in the metros and they are not much time to wait for the next. Made us feel like we are in running man playing games at the different stations. 

We ended our tour at a further station to explore another part of city and realised we actually went past here in tram the day before. Took an easy lunch at subway and went supermarket then it was to pack our luggage. Since our room had a bathtub, we also let bb took her only bath for the trip.. she recently discovered the joy of kicking water in bath but never had a chance to do so in a big bathtub. She could have enjoyed longer bath time if not for the poor parent's weak arm muscles. 

Usual screaming and struggles at bedtime again but relatively better than past 2 days. Bb is finally getting used to the room but we are leaving the next day... ehhh... dinner was a quick pizza takeaway and hotdog from 7-11... Yes, the 7-11 has hot food... then everyone slept early.

Summer holidays part 1 - Stockholm

Normally people goes for summer holidays beginning or mid summer to escape the heat, we ended up leaving for our summer holidays at the end of the holidays to seek cooler weather in Stockholm and helsinki but is already not so hot in France. Oh well, at least airfare is cheaper and athéna is older for her first official trip, where she will be out always, taking plane, trains and cruise!

Planning and packing were not fun. I was stressed and kiasu that bb won't have enough stuff and unlike adults, we can't buy and let her use directly (ocd me says need to wash first). So? We ended up with more luggage then expected. Planning of the trip was done during nursing time but is not as detailed as I'll like to. Oh well, we will go and see how.

29/08/18
Our flight was at 1630 but due to the parents' stress and anxiety, we left home earlier and arrived at the airport at 1400. At least bb did her first nap at home and slept a lil on the train to airport. Check in was a breeze except our stroller was too big and needed to be checked into a separate counter. We even had time for Starbucks and bb nursed at the same time. The real training for my solo sg trip starts at the security check - that I can't really wear and undo and wear ergo again but it was still fine. Bb didn't needs much liquid food in her bag for now.

We decided to changed her diapers before boarding the plane - finally the airport is the only place in France we can easily find clean and decent babychanging rooms. Bb started to fuss because need to nap while we were boarding. Felt asleep as we walked to the plane and woke up when I sit down, sigh.  Strapped bb down with infant seatbelt, try best to make her sleep unsuccessful, fussy bb cries, plane taking off, holding on till plane starts to acsend so nurse bb and silence. Lucky, bb wasn't the only baby who cried but she definitely screamed the loudest. The rest of the flight was trying make bb sleep, fussy cries, plane is too hot or cold, husband feeding me snacks (no idea how I'm going to eat on solo trip), plane descended, nursing bb and finally we touched down at 1830. Already was bb normal bedtime but bb definitely was not ready for bed.

We ergo bb till we collected all our luggage, exited the airport and found the express bus stop. Got the tickets and the 45m bus arrived shortly. Bb was sleepy and calm during the bus ride but didn't sleep.
We spent 30mins searching for our hotel when it was supposed be a 10min walk and bb fell asleep in stroller. We arrived our room with bb wide awake so I suggested that we bring bb along for dinner shopping (big mistake). We went to 7-11 and burger king and bb was super overtired when we came back at around 2130. After a quick clean up, we struggled to put her in bed in a new environment and not her usual bed. We managed to made her sleep while we had dinner but the rest of the night was bb waking up hourly and ended up sleeping in my arms.

Holidays is too tiring!

Athéna's first month

Is nice to be finally home after such a long stay in the hospital, I was definitely bored being stuck there. Yet, out of hospital means no help from nurses if we face problems with bb There was a night when bb woke up like every hour crying (maybe colic?) That we tried all ways to calm her down and the sleepy husband told me to ask for the nurse! Haha, since when we had nurse at home?? We did had free home visits from a midwife to check on me and bb. So, we also bomb her with many questions that Google can't help us. I can't imagine how life will be without Google.

Main problem was i had zero milk supply and bb weight was decreasing. It's really frustrating that each meal time, bb had to suck both breast 10min each (no milk) then husband feed her with bottle. Normally she was already crying very badly by the time for bottle and I feel like a lousy mum with no milk. Since it has been close to a week after delivery and i had zero milk, midwife asked whether i still want breastfeed, if yes, she suggests that we loan the hospital breast pump (we just need pay a 200€ deposit at the pharmacy for the pump and no deadline to return) and I must work hard to pump every 2h day and night. Well, I really want to breastfeed to save milk powder money..so I agreed. Luckily, my milk supply kicked in after 2 days of the pump and bb can finally be comforted when she nurse. With my low supply and her low weight, we still need to let her nurse on both breasts then husband to bottle feed. By 3rd week, my supply increased and she started to finally exceed her birth weight and we can stop bottle feed. I think husband must be super happy to stop bottle feed because he is supposed to burp her and hold her in upright position for at least 30m after each feed and is not fun to do so in middle of the night. Or even in the day every 2 hourly. But finally, we can worry less of her weight.

Thankfully, husband had 10days of paternity leave, I will prefer more leave but his boss wasn't allowing more to be taken. So, it starts the countdown to the days where I'll be going solo with bb. Being the perfectionist me, I didn't really allowed myself to rest in bed and enjoy husband's help. Instead, I was up and about trying my best to care for bb and cleaning up our hospital stuff and home. I was constantly in pain for my wound and I thought is normal, since I just delivered. Google told me that I should have less pain after a week but I didn't. It became worse and felt like fire was burning there and so much pain when I stayed in a position for too long(10min?). The midwife saw a slight infection and prescribed an antiseptic lotion for me. But things didn't improve after 2 days and husband was going back to work in less than a week. So we took an urgent appt with my gynae and hope I can be given antibiotics to help with the healing. Sadly, it was really bad news. My wound had a bad infection and stitch came loose. I was given antibiotics and to return in 2 days for a restitch (because gynae gg holiday there after).

I had to admit that delivery was painful but stitching there was really painful too. I was really not looking forward for the restitch especially only with local anthesia. Anyway, I didn't had choice, I blame my lack of bedrest and constant big movements for this torture. The infection cleared a little and gynae did the restitch... ouch! Gynae warned me that it will be more painful after the anthesia wears off and I was already in alot of pain.  Since we didn't want bb to be in hospital, I went alone and had to take tiny steps to walk out of the hosp. I took a uber home and glad that the ride was only 5min. I was in so much pain that I finally didn't moved from the bed for the day. Well, I can't imagine how it will be if I didn't return to my gynae. At least by the time husband returned to work, I felt better.

Confinement was not happening because we didn't had time to buy ingredients and to cook. We relied on microwave fast food. My sister in law came for 2 days to help us with bb and husband made me sesame chicken that I cried while eating because it's like finally real comfort food. I had to stop bathing the the confinement med bath that my mum bought because of the infection and I bath everyday too. Well, when I'm old with body aches, my mum will remind me is because I bath everyday. But no choice.. Confinement vs infection, I choose to be clean and infection free. Family also came to visit and bought us home cooked food which was very welcomed by us.

Finally, it was time for husband to return to work and start of my solo care for bb. It was hard to be alone, at times I desp wish to pass bb to someone else to hold while I can rest. The nights I tried to also care more for bb since I was breast feeding her and husband had to work. I was exhausted... the most tiring part of the day was after 1600, bb is fussy and I tried to entertained her with dance, songs, books etcs and I'm always so glad when husband came home to take over. We will try our best to make her nap around 1900 so to have dinner together but rarely happens. And bed time was supposed to be 2100 but usually only happens after that. I have a bb who don't sleep.

Things seems to improve when we decided to swaddle bb. All along I wanted to swaddle bb but it wasn't welcomed by the hospital or Midwife, it's seen as sort of abuse. It took awhile for bb to be used to swaddle since we didn't used it when she was bored. But swaddle helped her to be less awake by her limb movements and seems to make her feel more secure during sleep. Anything that helps bb sleep I'm doing it! I finally took time to read the baby whisperer book (gift from a friend who had a baby early and swears by the book) and we decided to try to train her on the e.a.s.y schedule (eat, activity, sleep, your time) instead of the current feed to sleep way.

As bb started to get used to the new schedule, our direct above neighbour started renovation works for their home and is to last min a month... so hello to daily 0800 to 1700 of renovation works...sigh.

02 - 04/04/2018 - last of hospital stay

The next few days in hospital was mainly:

For baby:
- learning to care for bb (practise bathing, changing diapers, feeding, handling her cries...)
- her to go through tests and more foot pricking to monitor her sugar level (we were so happy on 03/04 when her sugar level finally stabilised and the pricing can stop!). 
- lots of photos taking!
- just being a baby...

For me:
- started to eat all the diabetes forbidden food
- still pricking myself to monitor blood sugar
- daily checks on my wound and whether I can squeeze a drop of milk (sadly, nothing)
- foot still swell
- daily painkiller to reduce wound pain

For papa:
- being the "legs" 
- bottle feeding and burping
- buying any food I craved
- registering the birth of baby
- admiring his princrss

Although all was fine with baby, the lack of sleep and need for 101% attention start to tired us out. At times when we are struggling, is nice to just buzz for a nurse to help and wonder how they can solve the issue or simply calm baby down....

04/04/2018: 
Finally it was the day to go home! I was so bored to be stuck in the hospital and not went outdoor for close to a week??!!
It was a mad rush to care for the baby, pack up, baby to go through last checks, I to grab my prescription from gynae and husband to pay up and we managef to complete all by around 1300!

Husband was careful to push her princess home during the 10m walk home. And we were welcomed home to dirty laundry, lack of food in fridge and half set up baby space... well, still nice to be home..

Athéna, welcome to your home! 

01/04/18 - happy birthday Athéna!

After awhile epidural kicks in, I was basically pain free. Since I was in the delivery ward with 1 stool for Sitting, I told husband to sleep in our room and be back at 0300+. Then I fell asleep from 2cm to 8cm! only waking up for few minutes whenever the midwife came to check and helped me peed..childbirth is not so tough huh!

Sadly, I was celebrating too early about being pain less. Husband return about 0400 and i started to feel contractions like from 0 pain to 3 pain... and it proceeded quite quickly to 7pain at about 0500. However, midwife checked and told us that baby was not low enough so we need to wait 1hr before she called my gynae for delivery. What??? Means i need wait 1hr for her to call and wait again for gynae to come for delivery? I wanted to ask for more epidural but I guess they will adjust accordingly as pain increased. By 0530 I was really in pain so with urge to push and finally midwife decided to call my gynae.

I was kinda struggling with pain by then. Another midwife came and they prep the room for delivery and I was hoping to see my gynae soon. And nope, no one touched the epidural machine and so no increased in amount. I was so glad to finally see my gynae at about 0620 and she agreed it was time for delivery!

I don't really remembered the whole delivery process except I was in alot of pain, I was asked to push by the 3 ladies, I was exhausted from the pushing, I was crying from the pain and exhaustion and squashing husband hand all the time... and yes, I did wanted to shout "I don't want deliver anymore!" But it was in my mind... suddenly 1 midwife literally jumped on top of me to help me push and baby was out. 

I didn't hear any cry and husband was asked to cut the umbilical cord. Baby was then taken to the connecting room and husband followed into the room. Shortly I heard the first cries of baby. There I was with my legs while open and baby taken away..eh I thought supposed to have some skin contact immediately between baby and mama? I feel more like a surrogate mum who just sold my baby. 

Just when I thought the worse pain  was over.. the sewing up was really bad, makes me wonder where is epidural??? Anyway, no point to ask, I just suffer in silence at every poke and pull... Then someone told me baby is fine. Then pd came with husband and baby, I had baby on my chest for 5min and they took her away again. Someone cleaned me up and suddenly I'm just in the room alone? Husband came and told me that he wanted to come earlier but saw the room was full of blood like a crime scene so he decided to come later, haha.

Husband started tell me what happened during the delivery like baby's shoulders was stucked and gynae said if need, she will break her shoulder to get her out, how she is blue when born, cried only 3min later and all the checks they did for her in the other room. Shortly baby can return to our room so husband followed her and I'm in the room alone again.. at least I'm cleaned up? 

Anyway we are happy to have an Easter baby but was also April fool day. Easter changes every year but not April fool... hope she won't be bullied or laughed at in school! And she definitely will be reminded yearly that she is an Easter baby.  A bit off go if, husband and I had a conversation long ago about what soft toy will baby be attach too? And I conclude is what the parents wants for her because is parents who choose what to buy for her even before she is born. And being an Easter baby, I'll associate her w bunnies! And bunnies are so cute..  hehe.

I think is after 30m a nurse came with a wheelchair to push me back to my room w my tore surgery dress and underwear. I was told not to move from bed for few hours and to call them for my first pee pee. It was hard to adjust and finding a comfortable position on bed while in pain. Husband became my legs and constantly carry stuff including baby to me. Few hours later, I also managed to pee successfully and has a proper hot shower before bedridden again. 

It was hard to carry baby for her to latch because she seems so fragile. Anyway I didn't had any milk and midwives always came and squeeze my nipples pain fully to check. So around every 2h, baby has to latch for 10m before husband feeds her the milk bottle. After a nurse taught us how to change diapers, husband became the only diaper man because I'm suppose to stay in bed... he did well except 1x (during our hospital stay) there was a poo poo explosion when baby had no diapers on.

Crazily, I still had left over energy and we managed to received husband's family to visit the baby. Like Everyone, the main comment is the amount of hair baby has. 

The first night was always easy but it was hard to stay asleep with the pain, 2h feeding and a new human being in our room. Oh poor baby has to be pricked at her foot every 2h before feeding to check her blood sugar (her blood sugar is too low).. Finally, athena is here.. :)